Anal Surprise!

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Thursday, June 29, 2006

Reporting From Glendale, California.

This story comes to us courtesy of Reuters:

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

No amount of witty commentary from me could possibly match the brilliance of that story. So I shall end this entry right now.
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2 Comments

  1. thelastnoel Said,

    So, do you spend time looking for these stories?

     

  2. I have a Google Alert that e-mails me every time there's an article that contains the words "anus" and "lightbulb." I mean, who has time to search for these things. I make the hard news come to me.

     



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