Fame! I Wanna Live Forever (Or: Makes a Man Take Things Over)

Reporting From Glendale, California.

Sometimes I forget how much I've actually accomplished in the world of Asian-American theater. At the Next Big Bang, people are excited to meet me because they say they've been a longtime fan of my work or have heard about me for years. Some people even visibly stammer, stutter, and shake in my presence——I'm not kidding. At five feet/six inches, I feel taller than I actually am and empowered in such a way that I could probably kick a puppy and get away with it. (I in no way condone the kicking of puppies.... But eating them is fine.)

I also found out that my plays are studied at universities in the Midwest. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my plays are that deep. (See: The Fabulous Adventures of Captain Queer.)

Today, I met fellow playwrights Julia Cho and Jessica Hagedorn for the first time.

If someone dropped a nuclear bomb on the conference site, Asian-American theater would be dead. And the only thing left in the canon would be The King and I.


  1. You are NOT 5'6". Don't flatter yourself. You're 5'2" when your tresses are standing straight up on a bad hair day.

  2. I'm gonna get Alec Mapa to bitch-slap you.