Jimmy, Meet Dorothy; Dorothy, Meet Jimmy

Reporting From San Francisco, California.

Forget all this internet chatter about Superman's sexual orientation. It's all a ruse to throw the scent off of Daily Bugle photographer Jimmy Olsen. I mean, c'mon. I can't be the only one who thinks that Jimmy has a strange and seemingly unnatural interest in Clark Kent in Superman Returns. Jimmy fawns over Clark like Rufus Waingwright on a chocolate-covered cock.

CAPTION: Jimmy Olsen (left) thinks to himself, "Man, I wish that guy would move that sheet of paper so I can see Clark Kent's bulge. Hmm. Maybe if I use my X-ray vision, I can. Concentrate, Jimmy, concentrate."

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