Things in Jars Never Go Bad

Reporting From Glendale, California.

Sometime last year I bought a jar of Del Monte Sweet Premium Midget Pickles. Since I've been in San Francisco for the better part of nine months, I haven't eaten much food out of my Glendale refrigerator. While throwing away moldy bread and bad eggs the other day, I happened upon the jar of pickles. I opened it up, expecting to smell a foul odor—but it smelled perfectly fine, exactly the way it should smell. So I took a chance and bit into pickle and discovered that it tasted sweet and glorious, as if I had just opened a brand-new jar right then and there. I ate another one. And just right now, I ate two more, which only goes to show you: Things in jars never go bad!

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