Shucking Pomegranates in the 21st Century

Pomegranate juice is so damn good that it's like drinking the blood of a virgin. I suppose that's why it costs a whopping $3.99 per bottle.

The other day I saw huge-ass pomegranates in the fruit section at Ralph's, and I was inspired to make my own juice.

And here is what I learned:

Do you know how motherfucking long it takes to shuck a pomegranate?! I swear, I spent a half hour peeling, loosening, and juicing one pomegranate, which yielded about 3/4 of a cup of liquid.

$3.99: such a small price to pay.

—Reporting From Glendale, California


  1. It also stains like crazy. Imagine virgin blood on your hands that won't wash off.

    Good to see your site up and running again. I'm coming to see Jukebox Stories soon.

  2. Loren goes crazy anytime I shuck pomegranates, for fear that I will stain kitchen appliances.

    You really have to eat pomegranates naked to keep your clothes clean.

  3. Its easier to schuck the pomegranete in a bowl full of water & under the water so seeds don't fly everywhere..then it won't be so freaking