Although I do have somewhat of a social conscience, people who know me well understand that my rental was actually a shameful attempt at justifying the fact that what I really wanted to see was a Paul Walker film, namely The Fast and the Furious—a streetcar-racing action film with acting as wooden as a piece of, well, wood.
As I wait to go over to my mom's trailer park to give her a Christmas blanket and a key chain with four metal playing cards that are all aces (Asians love gambling!), I am about a third of the way through The Fast and the Furious, and it's pretty much the best movie ever. I am not kidding. Fast cars! Paul Walker! Asian villains! What more can a boy ask for on a quiet Christmas day?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing!
—Reporting From Glendale, California