A Fast and Furious Christmas

Because I don't mind once in a while supporting corporate malfeasance, I went to my local Blockbuster and spent an hour there trying to figure out how I wanted to spend my holidays. In order to blot out the moral ambiguity of spending an hour at the Blockbuster, I rented all four hours of Spike Lee's Hurricane Katrina documentary, When the Levees Broke.

Although I do have somewhat of a social conscience, people who know me well understand that my rental was actually a shameful attempt at justifying the fact that what I really wanted to see was a Paul Walker film, namely The Fast and the Furious—a streetcar-racing action film with acting as wooden as a piece of, well, wood.

As I wait to go over to my mom's trailer park to give her a Christmas blanket and a key chain with four metal playing cards that are all aces (Asians love gambling!), I am about a third of the way through The Fast and the Furious, and it's pretty much the best movie ever. I am not kidding. Fast cars! Paul Walker! Asian villains! What more can a boy ask for on a quiet Christmas day?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing!

—Reporting From Glendale, California

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