As we begin these final performances of Jukebox Stories in Berkeley, Brandon and I are going prize crazy! Last night (12/07/06), one lucky guy won a pretty princess prize package (complete with pink brush, pink mirror, and pink loofah). He had just completed a cross-country bike ride (further evidence that some people in this world are INSANE), so spending some time grooming himself into the pretty princess so many people want to be is definitely in order. We also gave away a box of See's Candies and a pedometer (courtesy of an audience member who has now seen the show three times!), two plastic glasses with Coke logos on them (thank god for the adjacent dollar store), and an adhesive car-window sign that declared, "WWJD?" And another repeat audience member won, embraced, and proudly took home the debut album by Michael Bolton (which we have been trying to get rid of for the last couple of weeks). You see, some people appreciate the finer things in life.

We also played Fortune Cooke Charades, and I was nudged into telling my epic story about my obsession with Maury Povich, a tale that I had not done at the show until last night. There are some things you should keep to yourself, lest you be judged a freak.

Don't judge me! You don't know me! You don't know me!

By the way, if you are reading this and you are in the San Francisco Bay Area, come to my goddamn show. If you do not, I will break into your bedroom at night and stab you in the neck with a shard of glass from the pretty princess mirror.

(Also, if you were at the show last night and you want me to send you a link to a scan of The Picture, then e-mail me. I don't want to post it here because I don't want to ruin the story for everyone else.)

—Reporting From San Francisco, California

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