Is It REALLY Hard Out Here for a Pimp?

I'm too lazy to write a whole new blog entry, so I'm cutting and pasting my latest mailing list e-mail:
My mother has been obsessed with Chinese horoscopes and insists that I wear a gold chain for good luck in the Year of the Pig. Despite expertly brushing her off, she brought me a gaudy gold necklace this weekend and demanded that I bless it with a sloppy kiss and an even sloppier prayer and put it around my neck. No can do. The necklace makes me look like a pimp. I have nothing against pimps, but it's not a lifestyle that I can handle. Three 6 Mafia sang (and won an Oscar last year for) "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," so, believe me, I know what it's like. Three 6 Mafia don't lie. But enough about me. See my announcements below. Thanks.


ACTORS NEEDED. In the near future, I will be incorporating a new segment in my BAMBOO NATION podcast that feature actors performing fictional monologues written by me. So I need great actors with great voices (all ages, all types) who are interested in inhabiting great characters. No compensation, except for the occasional "Prince strokes one part of your body" deal that I sometimes do, but I will say on air how great you are and mention your website if you have one, etc. Recording options: 1.) Come to me in Glendale, California; 2.) I come to you somewhere in the Los Angeles area or when I come to visit the East Coast in late March/early April or when I’m in San Francisco; or 3.) you record yourself, and send me an MP3. Contact me if you're interested:


PODCAST-O-RAMA. If you missed any of my recent BAMBOO NATION episodes, then you missed my exclusive interviews with novelists MICHAEL LOWENTHAL ("Charity Girl") and NOEL ALUMIT ("Talking to the Moon"), as well as my visit to an all-girls school, where I managed to get in touch with my inner teenage girl. Get BAMBOO NATION for free on iTunes or, if you don't have iTunes, go directly to:

(Also, if you're on iTunes, write a review of BAMBOO NATION. Now!)


The play that launched my career, BIG HUNK O' BURNIN' LOVE, which is pretty much the Romeo and Juliet of spontaneous combustion comedies, opens this Friday in Seattle. Are you in Seattle? Do you know people in Seattle? Go! More information is here:


You know it's hard out here for a pimp (you ain't knowin')
When he tryin' to get this money for the rent (you ain't knowin')
For the Cadillacs and gas money spent (you ain't knowin')
Because a whole lot of b*@#$%s talkin' s*@t (you ain't knowin')

—Reporting From Glendale, California

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3/30/2007

    I have started a new community web site at This is an interactive blog or a web forum. When you have a moment please register and make a post.