Except that my baby Pork Chop must miss me terribly. I'm the only one who feeds him what he deserves. So what if he last weighed in at a whopping and juicy 19.2 pounds? It's not like he has body-image issues or anything.
...This picture is of Pork Chop trying to climb inside a box, but his ass is stuck. I miss him, I miss him, I miss him. All right, I'm logging onto JetBlue.com. They have Direct TV!
—Reporting From Brooklyn, New York