Corporate Hooters? Some Things Even I Won't Risk

As I head into the final four performances of JUKEBOX STORIES in this—its original—incarnation, I've decided that Brandon and I need to make a big splash in the bingo prize department. I've been throwing potential prizes onto my futon, an orgy of fun and valuable goodies that people will fight for. I've also gotten my crack team of JUKEBOX STORIES bitches and hos to try to get museums and the like to donate free tickets to the cause. And I doubt that Hooters will give us free gift certificates, but I suppose it's worth a shot. (But, really, the idea of being in contact with corporate Hooters doesn't really appeal to me.)

San Franciscans, there may be tickets available at the door, and the venue may be able to add a few crappy chairs if necessary, so come downtown to The Clubhouse this Friday. If you want to buy tickets ahead of time since we're almost sold out, there may be a few left here. And if you're 21+, you can BYOB, you drunk bastards! (And I mean that affectionately.) If you've already got tickets to our sold-out Ghetto Gourmet show on Saturday, don't forget to BYOB and a floor cushion, you drunk and bony-assed bastards! (And I mean that affectionately.)

Los Angeles folks, come see us this Sunday at the Ford in Hollywood. Get your $10 tickets at the door, and enjoy free wine after the performance, you drunk bastards! (And I mean that affectionately.) (Advance tickets are available here for June 3 and here for June 10.)

—Reporting From Glendale, California

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