Males Cannot Have Babies

A plumber came to my apartment this morning to replace the leaking water heater. When he saw Pork Chop, my baby boy, he asked, "Is it pregnant?"

My jaw dropped. "No! He's just...he's just...fat!" At which point, I scooped Pork Chop into my arms, marched to the bedroom in a huff, and slammed the door. Both of us need protection from the cruelty of the outside world.

—Reporting From Glendale, California


  1. aw, I hope Porkchop's self esteem is all right.

    He's not fat...just big boned.

  2. He was crying tonight. Seriously. He actually had little cat tears in his eyes, and I had to wipe them away.

  3. wipe them away with little cat kleenex?