Attack of the Squirrel!

A German squirrel went on a rampage and ended up injuring three people, biting them on their hands, arms, and thighs. Fortunately for the human race, the squirrel was stopped by a 72-year-old man who used his crutch to kill the rabid animal.

Hey, I'm all for protecting yourself from crazy creatures, but, at 72-years-old, sir, haven't you already led a full life? You should've let the young squirrel grow into the man he was destined to become. Aggression is just a phase at that age.

(The photo on the right is what that squirrel may have looked like, but we will never know because I don't have access to actual pictures of the dead animal. May he rest in pieces.)

—Reporting From Glendale, California

5 comments:

  1. Don't squirrels care the black plague? Of course I'm getting my information from Dead Like Me. Great show...

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  2. Don't you know? Squirrels carry...EVERYTHING!

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  3. Anonymous6/18/2007

    i got bit by a squirrel once. they are nasty little fuckers. They lure you in with all that goodness and cuteness and scampering and then they bite your finger as you try to feed them cookies. surirrels are the devil. they remind me of prince.

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  4. I would never go for your finger.

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  5. this is why i have a terrier.

    i live in new york city...in the bronx.

    squirrels, rats... crack dealers.


    they all look the same to her.

    ReplyDelete