Los Angeles and the Female Anatomy

Brandon and I loved telling people that we were going to be performing at the Ford Amphitheatre in Los Angeles. It's a beautiful 1,241-seat outdoor venue nestled in the Hollywood Hills, and even the entryway is grand and majestic. People would be wowed that we were going to be there. JUKEBOX STORIES at the Ford fucking Amphitheatre? How far we'd come in so little time. We didn't tell them, of course, that the place we would actually be performing would be the 87-seat house underneath the amphitheatre. Suckers! C'mon, folks, really, after entertaining audiences in the basement of a pizza parlor, in bars, in a coffeehouse, in a comedy club, and in some guy's living room, we weren't very well going to march onto that outdoor stage like were were Madea.

A fun time was had by all in L.A., and I have nothing particularly bizarre to report, except that I did come across an amusing online review posted by an audience member. After we decided to close our first L.A. performance with a little ditty we like to call "Munching the Cooch," a lady declared online:
I thought it was interesting, and fun until the very last song. That was just too explicit to end the show. Maybe earlier in the show it wouldn't have been so dominant. But it colored my whole impression of them. I am not a prude, it is not that, but the end of a show to me has to wrap things up, not take off in a whole other direction that is shocking, more than anything else.

What's actually shocking, however, is how I repeatedly subject myself to being a part of Brandon's song, despite the fact that it makes me recoil in horror. Hey, if I wanted to think about the vagina as much as Brandon does, I wouldn't be a homo.

—Reporting From Glendale, California


  1. I don't believe in theaters with more than 49 seats.

  2. Doesn't that woman's comment kinda ignore the fact that the songs and monologues weren't predetermined? Or did you change your format for L.A.? Both times I saw your show the order was random because titles were drawn on the spot by and audience member. If that woman takes issue with "Munchin'" being the last song, tell her to take it up with the person who pulled it.

  3. by "an" audience member.

    It's early. Forgive the typo.

  4. It was a Sunday matinee, and Brandon and I thought, "People don't want to be contemplative in the afternoon.... Let's give them something they can't get in church!" So we just decided to do it. At least, she'll never forget us. :)

  5. vagina monologues, the musical.

    i can dance to it, i give it a 7.

  6. No more vagina! I've had ENOUGH!