Oh, Great, Now These Kids Can Be Miserable Theater Artists Just Like You

Dearest Readers, my request for your help to fund a theater library at a middle school in Queens has paid off because the project is now fully funded. I didn't know you cared so much. Now these kids can keep the work of Shakespeare alive, and that's a good thing because I hold no responsibility or desire to keep Shakespeare alive myself. I'm just waiting for the new season of 24 to begin.

Marisela Orta spearheaded this campaign, joined by several other playwrights, which only goes to show you that, if collective effort can stock a library with Greek tragedies, then collective effort can probably get me a new DVD player. You have my address; you know where to send it.

—Reporting From Glendale, California


  1. Dude. You're Asian. Aren't you supposed to be able to, like, build one out of several of your old cameras?

  2. I am too busy playing chess and violin.