I Shoot Terrorists

I am one big peace-lovin', gun-hatin' hippie, and I think the fear campaign against terrorism goes way overboard. So you'll appreciate the irony in the fact that I love playing an arcade video game called Target: Terror, a first-person shooter game in which you wield a gun and run around killing terrorists. You see, the bad guys have hijacked 10 different locations, including the Golden Gate Bridge, the Los Alamos nuclear facility, the Denver International Airport, and an airliner headed straight into the White House. And you can use machine guns, shotguns, grenade launchers, and the like to kill the evil-doers, who sometimes are subject to rather gruesome deaths that include exploding heads and limbs being blown right off their bodies.

This game is located in a crappy little arcade a few blocks away from my house, and I can't stop playing it because I haven't kept that goddamn airplane from destroying the White House yet. And because this game stands for everything I'm against, I can just imagine some supernaturally ironic twist of fate, where the actual video game machine will come after me like that slot machine goes after that old man in that episode of The Twilight Zone. Yes, I am more afraid of video games that have come to life than of real terrorists.

—Reporting From Glendale, California


  1. Prince...you have waaaay too much time. But then so do I, Im reading your blog arent I?

    Anyway, just so you know, thanks to your obsession to The Goonies I actually bought the DVD today. I mean, I saw it once on HBO and thought it was a good movie but that was it,but eversince I started reading your blog, well lets just say I begin to care a little bit too much about the Goonies as well.

    So now I have it on DVD, im gonna watch it and maybe, I'll obsessed about it as well.

    Be proud of yourself, you made a new Goonie fan today.

  2. That DVD is full of wonders and treasures! A great audio commedtary with the entire cast, now older, and you get to see what they all look like. A documentary featurette. Deleted scenes. And...the best part...the ENTIRE Cyndi Lauper music video. Well worth the purchase price!