When people ask me about what I think of the current events of the day, I will stare at them blankly until they collapse into a heaping pile of non-relevance. You see, I do not read or watch the news every day.
I do, however, receive Google news alerts every time someone writes something about...me. Look, I don't need to know what the fuck is going on in Georgia, but I have to be informed about myself—don't you agree, narcissists?
But this is not to say that I don't keep up with current events. There's just a delay of one week.
All the news I read comes out of a little magazine called The Week. The people at The Week consume news items from publications all around the world and then summarize the week's top stories by giving diverse perspectives and citing different sources, resulting in a well-rounded take on hot topics.
Since the magazine, as you may have imagined, is weekly, I only find out about things approximately a week after they happened. So don't talk to me about today's burning issues. Talk to me about last week's burning issues.