"This Article Makes Me Want to Punch You in the Face"

I have written scripts that have tackled racism, race relations, homophobia, hate crimes, childhood abuse, and many more potentially explosive subjects, but none seem to have drawn the kind of controversy and ire as my column, High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay, which was posted this morning on AOL's QueerSighted blog.

Apparently, America's teens (as well as some wayward adults) have trouble detecting irony and humor. As of this post, the column has already drawn more than 130 mostly angry comments, many of which are unwitting comic gems. A few fine examples (errors included) that I am just reveling in:

this article makes me want to punch you in the face.... go fuck yourself.

TO try to define this children's movie as an iconic piece of "gay culture" is a bit on the perverted side. the person who wrote this then u suck and u are gay!!!!

Why is a grown man watching Disney channel??? Your that pathetic that you don't have a life???? ...Get A LIFE!!!!! Jerk

And if you're fantasizing about Zac Efron, it's not because Disney is targeting you as a gay man by using hip thrusts and musical numbers. It's because you're a pervert and you probably sat there in front of the TV masturbating to "I Don't Dance." I mean, do you go on dates, or do you just sit at home waiting for the next children's movie to come on so you can get off? Get a freakin life...

This is an ridiculous article! This is exactly whats wrong with society.

When you write articles like these, you just crush the little kids that have dreams. I hope I never see another article like this one again because it was very rude.

So go jump in a hole and burn because nobody cares what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you think this is gay, then you are seriously wrong and need to stop watching disney channel to get off and feel good because you think its probably a gay porno you sick person.

to author! u sick freakin homo! what the hell is your problem!?!u probably just says 5h1t like that to try and hide how much u Love zach Efron! U r such a sad @$$

Your mom must have dropped you on your head when you were a baby because your brain is messed up.

but also why the fuck are you watching HSM2 and rating it what your like 40. Go get laid. YOU fucking SHITASS

you mr. gay are probably sitting in a ripped old box on the street begging for a job as a singer and dancer! So I wouldn't be talking ya freak!

I think one commentor hit it right on the nose, when she points out America's continuing discomfort with the word "gay":

I noticed one big thing in all of the commonts. Each one was either defending the movie from being gay because they loved it, or agreed that it was gay because they hated it. I really don't think that the author was trying to gear toward either of those points. It seemed to me like he LIKED the movie, just found that it was just chocked full of gayness.

I really have no response to most of these comments—I just find them rather entertaining. And, by the way, no one on this blog is trying to hide how much he loves Zac Efron. I mean, you can't run away from your feelings!


  1. Wow.
    It disturbs me to see how vehement people were in their negative reactions to your article.
    And it took a while to wade through them all, too.
    Perhaps I'M the one that needs to get a life!

  2. Heh... I was unaware there was a new generation of anti-gay people who watch musicals?! Who would have thought?

    Are they just future fag hags before their first boy goes gay on them? (interesting to note the mental state exists even beforehand, though).

    Don't they teach about metaphor, subtext, and irony in school these days?

  3. you're gay?

    who knew?

  4. Anonymous8/20/2007

    Yes, very interesting that there might be a new generation growing up of anti-gay pro-musical teenagers. Karl Rove - take note! Do we blame American Idol for this? Or just religion? I have so many questions... Is all musical theater inherently gay? Is all musical theater inherently bad taste? Is all gay inherently bad taste? Is all bad taste inherently musical theater?

    All silliness aside though, I know we have all met some interesting exceptions in our lives - I knew two very straight super athletes in college, one of whom brought in a partridge family arrangement to the choir we were in and later became an actor, and one who is now a children's musician. Maybe there is something inclusive about song and dance that straight people like that is directly related to the gay creative people who are a part of the creative teams who make them. Lord knows hipster music intimidates and excludes people who don't get the criteria underlying it, whereas loving the characters in a musical is loving a commercial art form that very much loves you back.

    a mostly straight indie rocker suddenly working in musical theater in New York (I just want fabulous) trying to come to terms with mixing punk rock judgmentalness with musical theater silliness, otherwise known as Brandon

  5. Since I'm pretending to be a composer of "serious" musicals, I've been super-proud (super-proud?!) of myself for completely avoiding the "High School Musical" phenomena -- except for reading this FABULOUS blog, of course.

    But how could I resist -- with your getting a big gig on aol and reading all those vitriolic comments? And you made it easier than sh*t to watch a clip...


    I've turned into a big blob of a'70s hag ALL OVER AGAIN (yes, that's when I was a tweener). That is one cute dancing twig and I haven't fallen so hard since Davy Jones, Donny Osmond, Scott Baio and Greg Louganis...

    And though I missed the 90s boy band dancing after going to my first hip hop class and twisting my ankle after 2.35 minutes -- I'm seriously thinking about learning the four 8-counts that make up the chorus here... what could be so bad about breaking out in an impromptu "Work This Out" jig for my fellow musical composers to show them what our future ticket buyers will want to spend their $$ on?!

    I (HEART) Zac. HAHAHA (I have to ask my 14-year-old niece about him now too... why do I have a feeling she got too old this and left me behind?!)

    Dude, I'm so sold... it's not even funny. Thanks (I think)!

  6. Crap. Now I have to go see Hairspray too.

  7. I think all the negative comments are a product of their generation. They all seem to think the word "gay" is the most horrible thing you can call something or someone, 'cuz that's what kids use as an insult all the time, as in "That's so GAY!"

    I use it as a badge of approval, and, clearly, I liked HSM2.

    Mad, you have to see Hairspray. It's great great great.

  8. Anonymous8/20/2007

    are you kidding me why are you freakin 40 year old ppl goin around watching Hairspray and HSM2 these are kids movies not invented for 40 yr old pervs who have no life and decide to watch the movie and talking about "gay". Ohk ppl go get a life

  9. Anonymous8/20/2007

    I love the comment about sitting in a box in the street begging for a job as a singer/dancer. I've actually seen this in Market street in SF, and there were 6 of them, obviously all down-and-out chorines. You could tell by the way their gloves were frayed. On closer inspection it was clear that all were stolen Eponine costumes from Les Miz. But the way each beggar synchronized into a kick-line as the Street Sheet was proferred was rather moving. My main question though... who choreographs the homeless? Or is this a naturally synchronous affair, like monarch butterflies?

  10. As a teen myself, I grew up with the word 'gay' having a negative connotation. Children use it on the playground before they even know what it means, to describe something as being freakish. It's sad, but true, so many people were probably taken aback by your ideas of HSM being 'gay'. I truly thought it was a great article, and anyone who couldn't read into the sarcasm and irony presented in it, need to go home, get pliers, and pull the stick that has seemed to have found itself lodged up their ass, out. I left you a positive comment on it. ^_^ Plus, I love the n00bs that can't spell or put together intelligent or even coherent sentences. Yes, I did just say n00b. I'm sorry, blame my youth.


  11. Anonymous8/20/2007

    "are you kidding me why are you freakin 40 year old ppl goin around watching Hairspray and HSM2 these are kids movies not invented for 40 yr old pervs who have no life and decide to watch the movie and talking about "gay""

    er...Original Hairspray=John Waters+Divine+Ricky Lake. Nothing gay or gay friendly there.


    "Don't they teach about metaphor, subtext, and irony in school these days?"

    of course not, that would be gay

  12. Look on the bright side. If you get a few more hundred hits you'll garner the attention of some news agency and there'll be press about you. This was all part of your plan I bet. Narcissistic ho!

    I'm jealous.

  13. All you are freaking hilarious. I don't even need to comment.

  14. I adore the excess of punctuation. 16 exclamation points, dripping in teen angst. I'm kind of in love with the whole world right now.