A Zefrontastic and Crabalicious Birthday

My birthday began at 5:30 AM yesterday, the call time for Laundromat. My favorite part of the film shoot, of course, was whenever the make-up guy would come and apply powders and potions to make me more beautiful than I already am. (Um, why did everybody on set laugh when I said that?)

Then, it was off to a showing of Hairspray, where I went to get my "Zefr-on." (Holy shit, I just coined a new term! More uses: "I have to get the new High School Musical CD so I can get my Zefr-on!"; "you should buy the new Rolling Stone magazine and get your Zefr-on!"). This short clip shows you just how Zefrontastic the movie is:

Zefron's character falls in love with the film's plus-size heroine. The obvious message of the movie, of course, is one of hope and inspiration. If Tracy Turnblad can get Zefron, then anybody can get Zefron. Or, to re-frame it another way, Zefron will do anyone, which gives me enough hope to last a lifetime.

Okay, so we all know how mesmerizing Zefron is in Hairspray, but, since this was my second go-'round, I was able to fully appreciate the other great actors in the movie. John Travolta, in drag and a fat suit, surprisingly gives one of the most humane performances I've seen all year; his Edna Turnblad is funny, tragic, and ultimately triumphant, and, man, can that man dance! Christopher Walken, who is no stranger to bizarre line readings, gives the most bizarre and hilarious line readings ever, turning simple phrases into gems. And I must say that I just love Amanda Bynes; after the Twelfth Night-in-high-school flick, She's the Man, and now this, she's one of the best young comic actresses working today; I'll go see anything she's in. Check out this She's the Man trailer:

By the way, the two very young girls in front me at Hairspray turned to each other whenever Zefron appeared on screen and gave each other a knowing look, a look of deep connection. I wanted to turn to Gabriel and Donovan, who were with me, but I knew that they would only roll their eyes.

Then it was off to the Crabalicious part of the evening, which took place at Clancy's Crab Broiler, a Glendale institution. Diablo and Jonny met us there, and, oddly enough, no one had crab. Crabs, on the other hand, is another issue entirely, and I can't speak to that on this blog.

Life is beautiful, and I cried myself to sleep.


  1. When a pretty boy like Zefron openly dates a big girl, it's usually a pretty good indication of his impending gay-gay-GAYness.
    I've always wondered if that was an unintended, underlying message in the original film by John Waters.

    Don't you love that he's the flasher in the opening number?

  2. christopher walken is amazing in 'hairspray.'

    i love the pure joy he gets in his dance scene with john travolta... you can see he is actually having a good time. it added to my enjoyment of the film as a whole.

    i want him to win something!

    (and, yes, i love waters being the flasher)

  3. I love everyone in that movie, but the girl who played Tracy especially. I want to smoosh her, and then I want to go out for sundaes with her.

  4. That was the funnest shit ever! I wish I could have gotten my Zefr-on; alas, I think I will have to rent the DVD. Perhaps at Blockbuster. Perhaps at the Glendale Blockbuster.

  5. Yes, Peter and Quin, when John Waters shows up as the flasher, it's a good omen for the rest of the movie. Love HIM too! Hope he's swimming in cash!

    Golfwidow, I know what you mean. I want to use her as a (platonic) bed.

    You know, Diablo, the world is waiting for our further Blockbuster adventures. Let's make it happen, so we can entertain the masses.

    In that "Without Love" song in Hairspray, Zefron sings:

    Then we met and you made me
    The man I am today
    Tracy, I'm in love with you
    No matter what you weigh

    I've been re-imagining it in my mind as:

    Then we met and you made me
    The man I am today
    Prince-y, I'm in love with you
    No matter that you're gay

  6. Cuz without Prince ♪
    Disney's HSM just isn't as gay
    Without Pri-ih-ince ♫
    Who else would we count on to piss off youth today?

    I will read his blog forever
    Cuz I never wanna be
    Without Pri-ih-ih-hih-HIIINCE
    There's too much time at work that's free ♪♫

  7. Peter, that's Zactastic! I gotta get someone to record that for me.

  8. Tweak it and fine tune it for the next Jukebox Stories performances, and I will die fulfilled!

  9. based on the tone of your perniciously self-obsessed blog, you would cry yourself to sleep you big fucking pussy.

  10. Thanks for the compliment!

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  12. "Self-obsessed blog?"

    Neil LaBute, is that you?