Ben & Jerry's Banana Split Ice Cream

How can something be the work of a higher power and the work of the devil at the same time?! Oh, Ben & Jerry's Banana Split Ice Cream, I love you and I hate you. You are sacred and profane. I want to fuck you, but then kick you out of bed after I am done. You comfort me; you hurt me. You are a son of a bitch—but a sexy son of a bitch.


  1. The summer after my sophomore year of High School, the super market down the street ran a 2 for $5 special on Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Every day I'd walk to the store, and buy two pints. I'd eat one pint before dinner, and one pint after. By the end of the summer I'd gained 30lbs.

    It's both devil's food and angel's food.

  2. I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes for the oddball flavors (Dreamery used to have a flavor called "Whiteout" that involved white chocolate covered pretzels. I'm still mourning its absence). Vanilla is for vanilla people.

  3. You know an ice cream flavor I had once, but never found again? Thai Iced Tea Flavored Ice Cream. It was so damn good! Where, oh, where can I get it?

  4. once, i was sitting with a pint of b&j's new york super chunk fudge (or something to that name) on my swollen childfilled belly.

    i scooped up a spoonful, and before i put it into my mouth, i looked down.

    there was not a hair, but, an entire country of hairs. a glob of hair. a plethora of hair.

    i wrote the company, they sent me coupons for their goods to cover me in ice cream for a year.

    no one could believe that not only did i use the coupons, i continued to buy the same flavour.


    they made a mistake.

    and i make sure i look before i eat all the time now.

  5. Having left the Bay for Texas, one of my few solaces?

    Blue Bell Ice Cream

    It is Super Premium. But I can get it by the gallon and medicate as necessary. Including Banana Split.

    You cannot.

    YOU can have good Thai food.

  6. Further proof that ice cream, sex, and chocolate are all one and the same, all from the same pardoxical/dichotomy source that is both divine and pure evil.

    Quin, I ALWAYS go back to B&J's NY Super Fudge Chunk and I have never encountered a single strand of hair . . . too bad, would love a year's worth of free coupons.