Back in the old days when Young King Henry VIII wanted to masturbate, he not only needed a royal towel to catch his hot spunk but he also needed a royal servant to hold the royal towel to catch his hot spunk—as demonstrated here by a nearly nude Jonathan Rhys Meyers in the Season One finale (Episode Ten) of Showtime's sex-obsessed drama, The Tudors.
In the episode's opening scene, Henry pleasures himself while thinking of his unofficial girlfriend, Anne Boleyn (Natalie Dormer), as the king's man-servant kneels before him. This has to be considered at least a little bit gay, but, since Henry is imagining himself with sexy naked Anne, then it's okay, right? Right?!
Warning: The following clip of the now-infamous Tudors masturbation scene is not suitable for work or other public places (except the San Francisco Public Library). If you're on a mobile device and have trouble playing this, then bookmark this page and get to a desktop computer right now! It's worth the hassle! Watch:
Is it me, or is Young Henry a little bit too aggressive with his little bits? I wanted to yell, "You're hurting yourself!," at the screen. If he were alive today, I'd tell him to pick up a copy of In Your Hands: The Everyman's Guide to Masturbation, and maybe he'd learn a thing or two. (Yes, that's a real book.)
An obsessive fan of The Tudors actually took the time to create an 11-minute supercut of "The Best of Henry VIII's Hissy Fits, Temper Tantrums, (and Occasional Screamin' O's)," which includes a shirtless man-on-man fistfight and some open-mouthed sex. I still haven't watched this series after all these years, but, apparently, it's the gift that keeps on giving:
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