Remembering the Colonel (and Why the Hell Is "Colonel" Spelled "Colonel"?)

After seeing a documentary on HBO in 1997 where people threw goats off the roofs off tall buildings (I know, right?), I decided to start weening myself off meat. Over the period of several months, I cut beef, pork, and turkey out of my diet. The most difficult thing to give up? Kentucky Fried Chicken.

And even after I officially became a semi-vegetarian (I still ate—and still eat today—seafood and dairy), I would sneak a box of extra crispy KFC into my apartment once every few weeks and dig into it like a zombie digs into human flesh. After my meal, I would feel so dirty and greasy that I had to scrub myself down in the shower until my skin bled. Eventually, I walked away from KFC, and both our hearts broke as I did so.

On occasion, I'll go into a KFC to chew on a corn cob or chow down some mashed potatoes and gravy (a little chicken broth every once in a while never hurt anyone) just so I can breathe in the scent of fried chicken skin. (That's the best part—can I get a "hell yeah," Filipinos?!)


  1. Tip from a fellow pescatarian: Cold fried octopus from a Japanese deli does a pretty good impression of KFC. I would say it tastes like chicken, except it doesn't, and neither does KFC. Even better, it tastes like breading.

  2. you've yet to have my fried chicken.

    i blogged about it somewhere in july, i think... it's a southern tradition, perfect fried chicken.

    we fry everything or pour gravy on it or in a perfect world, pour gravy over fried stuff.

    yes, fried chicken....

    my momma made it, and i helped.

  3. You know, I think it's mostly the breading more than anything else that makes KFC taste so damn good. DAMN THEM AND THEIR WICKED, TEMPTING WAYS!

  4. WTH were they throwing goats off tall building for?

    I no longer eat any fastfood cos I'm just tired of them after all the excessive intake in childhood. Can't feel your pain there Prince.


  6. Tonight's episode of "South Park" showed Cartman sneaking into a bucket of KFC and eating all the skin and only the skin--angering his friends because the skin is the best part, they scream! Sweet serendipity.

  7. The best fried chicken I ever tasted was made by the two cooks in a Chinese restaurant where I waited tables (Mr. Soo and Mr. Soo--they were brothers).
    I swear, it tasted southern!
    They must've put MSG or heroin in there, it was so addicting!