Fighting Kindergartners

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Saturday, December 22, 2007
So I was sitting here thinking to myself, "I wonder how many five-year-olds I could take in a fight." And, lo and behold, I found a quiz on the Internet that ultimately determined that, if I were being brutally attacked by a bunch of kindergartners ("the children are merciless and will show no fear," says the quiz), I would be able to kick 17 of their asses! Look:

If I were at a school with a relatively small student-teacher ratio, I could conquer an entire class. However, if I were at a seriously impacted school and had to face, say, Mrs. Mahoney's entire class, I would be a dead man. How many can you fight? (I love how there's a "moral compass" section of the quiz.)
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  1. Sam S Said,

    I have a feisty five year-old and it only takes a few body slams jarring you out of a dead sleep before you realize that you are no match for that much energy. having been awoken from my pleasant slumber violently by a hysterically laughing 5er I can't say enough how scary it actually is. lol!


  2. You know, in general, children ARE scary. That's why those Ring movies and the like are so damn terrifying.


  3. Read Said,

    Apparently I could take on 28 of the little buggers.


  4. golfwidow Said,

    I didn't bother to post my results on this one. I was embarrassed that I wound up with a score of 9.


  5. I got 27 and that's significantly more than I anticipated. I think I scored extra points w/ the eye-gouging comment. But when facing the kid from "The Ring" Why wouldn't I resort to eye-gouging?


  6. Jeez, if not for golfwidow's low score, I would feel like a complete pussy!


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