I Usually Just Choke Myself With My Hand, But a Noose Works Too

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Friday, December 07, 2007
After I revealed my semi-obsession (and semi) for Hayden Christensen, a commenter suggested I rent Life as a House to "watch Hayden suck old guys off" and someone e-mailed me to tell me about "the part where Hayden takes a shower with his lady friend." (Said shower scene linked here.) I am completely amazed, however, that both of them failed to mention my favorite part. You know—the part in which Hayden masturbates while simultaneously inhaling paint fumes from a plastic bag and hanging himself from a noose. (No, I'm not kidding.) Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is dripping in so much schmaltzy, terminal-illness movie excess (Kevin Kline plays the dying dad) that it's almost unbearable.

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1 Comment

  1. Peter Varvel Said,

    As perpetually horny as I am, I am too scared to try the near-asphyxiation thing with a rope around my neck.

    Isn't that how the lead singer from INXS died?


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