Get Your Damn Hands Off Her!

A dedicated Bamboo Nation reader sent me this e-mail:

My fabulous aunt, who lives in active retirement in Palm Desert, got to meet Zac Efron last week.

She volunteers at the McCallum Theatre as an usher, and she gets to see the casts of films do question and answer sessions.

The cast of Hairspray was there last week, and she said that there were less than 12 inches between her and Zac. She's 63—so while she finds him adorable, the level of moisture in her underwear did not increase as it might have in mine.

She said that Zefron was personable and very polite. She was impressed that both Amanda Bynes and Nikki Blonsky were sweet and down to earth. However, Vanessa H., who was by Zefron's side the whole time, had an attitude, probably 'cuz it wasn't any of her work that they were promoting or discussing.

Did you hear that, folks? Zac Efron is 12 inches! Sometimes, folks, it's just too damn big.

As for stars with on your best behavior, celebrities! Bamboo Nation is watching you!


  1. Sterling1/07/2008

    That is NOT too big.

  2. I like the homage to Crispin Glover, but shouldn't the gender have been changed?

  3. Poor Vanessa, she was reduced to being arm candy...

    Maybe she thought if she wasn't there Zac and Nikki would make out...

  4. I'm happy someone got the Crispin Glover reference!

    As for the gender usage, it is correct in several ways.

    "Get your damn hands off her!"--as in Zac, don't touch VH, touch me instead!


    "Get your damn hands off her!"--as in, VH, will you stop touching your girlfriend, Zac, in public?

  5. Zac does seems like a nice guy.

    Clive Owen still hotter though.


  6. so , how TANNED was he ? what shade of orange ??

  7. Aw, shucks! I woulda' gotten the reference had you prefaced it with "Hey, you."

    "Do you really think I oughtta swear?"