Happy New Year! Time to Dance!

Thank you, dear readers, for making 2007 the greatest year yet for Bamboo Nation. This blog's regular readership quadrupled over this past year, and I'm determined to quadruple it again in 2008 by promising to make it bigger, better, and uncut—which will also ensure that my already-dedicated readers come back for more, oh, so much more!

To start 2008 off right, I present to you the way-gay "I Don't Dance" number from—you guessed it—High School Musical 2. I've never actually written about this but...

Is the song really just about flamboyant Ryan trying to get jock Chad to dance? Or is it really a gay metaphor in which Ryan (whose sexuality has always been suspect, even according to legitimate news sources and not just me) attempts to get straight Chad to dabble in the wonderful world of homosexuality (in my circle, it's also referred to as "the wonderful world of Disney")?

"I don't dance," masculine Chad pleads.

Ryan, who is the pitcher (ha ha ha—I'm not kidding!) and who is wearing a white outfit and beret, entices, "You'll never know if you never try!"

And later, Ryan lays the seduction on thick: "One, two, three, four, everybody swing!"

(I'm not making these lyrics up, folks!)

Will Chad go the gay way? Will he?! Let's see:

Guess what happens after the game (not shown in the clip)? Chad and Ryan swap clothes! WTF?! In their next scene together, Chad is wearing the white outfit and beret, and Ryan is in the baseball uniform. Need I say more? No.


  1. I never thought of it as a metaphor. But I suppose it must be, if you say so.

  2. It doesn't help matters that Chad's "girlfriend" has always struck me as butch and controlling of her friend the ultra-femme Gabriella either.

    I also know one very butch 8 yr old boy who's favorite songs in HSM2 are "Bet On It" and this one.

  3. You know, those are MY exact two favorite HSM2 songs! Hmm.... That boy might have a future on Broadway.


    I found Ryan to be kinda cute, too bad for me he swings it your way Prince.

  5. I actually got HSM2 for a Christmas present this year from my sister-in-law... geez, I wonder if she's reading my comments on your blog (since I never post about it on mine -- oh those Filipinos!)

    Can't wait to see the whole thing for the new year :)

  6. Sterling1/03/2008

    Disney, oh, Disney. Ever since Golden Boy Eisner left, it hasn't been the same. Think that the Disney exec.s are doing this on purpose, to make poor helpless boys like my buy their trash just to see Zac Efron? I think we should sue. It's entrapment.

  7. Anonymous1/19/2008

    "I'll show you how I swing" XD

  8. Anonymous1/19/2008

    Ahahahaha! And then Ryan falls over with his crotch seven inches from Chad's face XDDDD

  9. OMG! I just notice the crotch thing! This clip just gets better and better on repeated viewings!