Thank you, dear readers, for making 2007 the greatest year yet for Bamboo Nation. This blog's regular readership quadrupled over this past year, and I'm determined to quadruple it again in 2008 by promising to make it bigger, better, and uncut—which will also ensure that my already-dedicated readers come back for more, oh, so much more!
To start 2008 off right, I present to you the way-gay "I Don't Dance" number from—you guessed it—High School Musical 2. I've never actually written about this but...
Is the song really just about flamboyant Ryan trying to get jock Chad to dance? Or is it really a gay metaphor in which Ryan (whose sexuality has always been suspect, even according to legitimate news sources and not just me) attempts to get straight Chad to dabble in the wonderful world of homosexuality (in my circle, it's also referred to as "the wonderful world of Disney")?
"I don't dance," masculine Chad pleads.
Ryan, who is the pitcher (ha ha ha—I'm not kidding!) and who is wearing a white outfit and beret, entices, "You'll never know if you never try!"
And later, Ryan lays the seduction on thick: "One, two, three, four, everybody swing!"
(I'm not making these lyrics up, folks!)
Will Chad go the gay way? Will he?! Let's see:
Guess what happens after the game (not shown in the clip)? Chad and Ryan swap clothes! WTF?! In their next scene together, Chad is wearing the white outfit and beret, and Ryan is in the baseball uniform. Need I say more? No.