A Phone Call Today

WOMAN: Hello. How may I help you?

PRINCE: Hi. I keep getting calls from this number, and I don't know why.

WOMAN: This is Baby to Bee. What's your phone number?

PRINCE: [Gives number.]

WOMAN: Oh, you signed up on our website, and we were checking to see if you wanted to get free items for your newborn.

PRINCE: I don't have a newborn.

WOMAN: You don't have a baby?

PRINCE: I don't have a baby.

WOMAN: Did you sign up on our website?

PRINCE: No. I don't have a baby. I've never had a baby. And I will never ever have a baby.

WOMAN: Well, don't say that.


WOMAN: Okay then.

PRINCE: Could you take me off your list?

WOMAN: Sure.

PRINCE: Thanks.


  1. "It could happen."
    ~ JT

  2. the investment gets all kinds of stuff from companies who provide infant things, and he's been listed on websites for products for babies.

    he has evil siblings.


  3. You so do too have a baby. Named Pork Chop.

  4. Anonymous1/31/2008

    yes, you do have a baby. a big fat lazy baby with claws that bites and sheds. ps. stop feeding your baby Cheetos!

  5. Holy shit, how funny would that have been if I continued talking to that woman about Pork Chop and referring to him as my baby? "My newborn needs some catnip and something for his hairballs--is THAT a part of the membership package?

  6. I keep getting calls from a furniture company trying to collect payments from someone named Cesar. It's hard, because I can't say, "I don't have a couch and I never will."

  7. i hate telemarketers. This is my story:

    From a gym called "Celebrity Fitness"

    them: so , which celebrity you want to look like ?
    me: none.
    them: so you're perfectly happy the way you look ?
    me: yes.
    them: i asumme you're all buffed up.
    me: no
    them: okkk, come on, they're gotta be one celebrity that you want to look like.
    me: ok , Jack Black.
    me: take me off your damned call list.