Spank You Very Much; Or, Recapping Jukebox Stories 02.16.08

I got a straight guy to give me a spank on the ass at last night's show—and I gotta tell ya, if you ever have the opportunity to get spanked on the ass by a straight guy, take it. You see, in order to temper the danger of bi-curiosity, straight guys will overcompensate by making sure the spank is STRONG and FORCEFUL—a sort of "I'm a man, bitch!" declaration on the palm of his hand. Anyway, the straight guy's hand imprint stayed on my ass for several sweet hours, and I must admit my job has many perks that people never even imagine.

Much thanks to fangirl Michaela for bring a bunch of horny members, who helped make it another full rowdy house (including some [drunk perhaps?] guy who cheered and clapped anytime I said "rice cooker"), rounding out a truly fantastic opening weekend.

Note to self: never make improvised, intended-to-be-funny references to No Country for Old Men on stage—unless you want to hear the deafening sounds of silence.


  1. Oh when oh when would I be able to watch your show?....*dramatic sigh*

  2. i love that you're recapping the show. sucks i can't be there, but i'm coming the 22 for sure! i got my flight back so i can make it in time.

  3. This has nothing to do with the show, BUT did you know that the STAGE VERSION of High School Musical is COMING TO SAN FRANCISCO APRIL 15-27?!

    You might have to stick around, eh?

  4. I'm highly curious what an improvised joke on No Country might look like. Care to elaborate?

  5. CD, you're just gonna have to move to the States. Try it! You'll like it!

    Solia, closing night is going to rock! See ya soon.

    Diana, there is the very strong possibility that I might be there--and trying to fondle actors backstage.

    TBDA, well, as you can see from the pic, the set is a motel room. At one point, I went to the effort of climbing onto the radiator, looking into the vent, and declaring, "I was right! Josh Brolin hid some money up here!" That's high comedy, folks....

  6. Anonymous2/18/2008

    vent humor has nowhere to go in post-blue streak world.

  7. Cheers Prince! AMAZING show! I'll be back in march for both Berkeley and LA! And now, finally, I can do something besides sitting on my ass posting LOLcats: I can rant about Jukebox Stories. By the way, YOU'RE GAY!!! WHATto!

  8. Hey, Isaac, thanks for coming again and again! It was great to see you in the gay gay gay gay GAAAAAAAAAAY audience!

  9. Too bad you didn't get a photo of that cheek with the red handprint.

  10. Prince,

    This comment has nothing to do with your post, but as you are north and I am south and I live in a wildlife area called Sun Valley and not two blocks away anymore and its harder and harder to stay in touch despite my pledge to attend and great anticipation of a spring Elias encounter, I have decided that the fastest way to communicate with you is to comment on a post that has the word "spank" in it, as I, having known you for many years, assume you will be checking and rechecking said post multiple times per hour. That said, I am writing to say this: Hi. Oh, and this: The new HBO series IN TREATMENT starring Gabriel Byrne is the most compelling dramatic work every created in the history of the English language. I know, I know, the trailers do not promise such a thing. I saw them and thought, "I'm going to watch a series comprised of therapy sessions in which Gabriel Byrne is the therapist?" Well, as it turns out, I am! It is riveting, the acting is so good, in the invisible, I'm so into this part you don't even remember my acting name kind of way and the interwoven characters/clients and their respective plots and subplots are so effortlessly and painstakingly well, interwoven, that, well, I don't even miss 24. And when Kiefer gets out of his Glendale jail cell, if he hasn't already, he'd better make sure they don't skimp on production for whatever episodes they muster the energy to actually produce post-strike.


    Craaaaaaaaazy Larry
    P.S. Tell your neighbor Faragamo he never returned my copy of the Leonard Malten book.

  11. Maggie2/20/2008

    I was there that night and very much enjoyed your show. I'm a student of Melissa Hillman's at Cal State Hayward, and I must say, even though I didn't laugh very loudly, I did enjoy your No Country For Old Men reference. I don't think many people know who Josh Brolin is, even though any goonie fanatic should.

    And my boyfriend(the one who smacked your ass) loved the show (and the comment) too. :]

  12. Craaaaaaaaazy Larry, man, you ARE out of touch. Kiefer got out of jail a long time ago, but rumors say that they're holding Season Seven of 24 hostage until 2008. I don't think even Gabriel Byrne could talk me out of withdrawals.

    Maggie, as much as I want this reply to be all about you and our mutual love of "The Goonies," this reply, unfortunately, will have to be about your hot boyfriend. He is so hot that he is HAWT. In fact, just thinking about him right now makes me want to touch myself. You are one lucky girl. Give him a firm smack on the ass for me. Please. And thank you.