I got a straight guy to give me a spank on the ass at last night's show—and I gotta tell ya, if you ever have the opportunity to get spanked on the ass by a straight guy, take it. You see, in order to temper the danger of bi-curiosity, straight guys will overcompensate by making sure the spank is STRONG and FORCEFUL—a sort of "I'm a man, bitch!" declaration on the palm of his hand. Anyway, the straight guy's hand imprint stayed on my ass for several sweet hours, and I must admit my job has many perks that people never even imagine.
Much thanks to fangirl Michaela for bring a bunch of horny Meetup.com members, who helped make it another full rowdy house (including some [drunk perhaps?] guy who cheered and clapped anytime I said "rice cooker"), rounding out a truly fantastic opening weekend.
Note to self: never make improvised, intended-to-be-funny references to No Country for Old Men on stage—unless you want to hear the deafening sounds of silence.