Men Touching Men; Or, Recapping Jukebox Stories 03.01.08


As punishment for a missed sound cue during last night's performance of Jukebox Stories: The Case of the Creamy Foam, I pulled our tech guy, Read, onto stage and stroked various parts of his body for the audience's enjoyment. I later encouraged a straight guy in the audience to stroke my wrist tenderly. Both moments were wholly demeaning to me, of course, and you must realize the lengths I must go through to entertain the public. I suffer for my art.

I must add, however, that Read is "barely legal," which, as you know, are my two favorite words in the English language. Rachel (co-star of my story about Maury Povich) once pointed out to me that "barely" and "legal" as individual words don't amount to much but when put together have such a lovely ring.

We also got to celebrate Rica's birthday—chocolate cake for her and brownie bites for the rest of the audience—and I got to tell my favorite story about Rica. I was staying at her house one time, and while perusing her bookshelf I came across an audio book titled Overcoming Procrastination. The audio book was still wrapped in plastic, with a layer of dust over it about a quarter of an inch thick. That was one of the most ironic things I had ever seen, and that is why I love Rica.

7 comments:

  1. Oh, dear god... Have you scarred him for life Prince? On the other hand, I think I've "hit" on him so much that he's desensitized to it now =). Maybe.

    Regardless, I approve. And now I'm going to call him. And laugh. Oh yes...

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  2. Isaac, if you have desensitized him, then I must thank you. You have apparently "buttered him up," and he's now ready for me to put him in the oven.

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  3. Last year my girlfriend had a day planner titled "Do It Later: The Procrastinator's 2007 Calendar." She purchased it in late February, of course.

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  4. THAT SOUND CUE WAS NOT MISSED.

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  5. That story about Rica is hysterical! Classic!

    And I love that the individual words 'stroke' and 'lengths' are both in the opening paragraph.

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  6. Oh, Diana, you should know by now that I deal in gross exaggeration. Especially when it comes to Read and making him repeatedly blush by telling embarrassing stories about him or stroking him in public. That's how it should be.

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  7. "Isaac, if you have desensitized him, then I must thank you. You have apparently "buttered him up," and he's now ready for me to put him in the oven."

    Exxxxxcellent. We are one step closer to achieving the Gay Agenda. Muahahaha!

    P.S. Give him hell for me. He's probably getting comfortably straight in my absence. He needs someone to make him question his sexuality.

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