That's Awfully Big of You

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Wednesday, March 05, 2008
The first movie starring Colin Farrell in a leading role that I ever saw was the Colin Farrell Sex Tape, which was readily available online a couple years back. (Yes, you can Google it, pervs!) (Oh, okay, fine, last time I checked, it's here.) Needless to say, I justifiably became an instant fan. I mean, c'mon, when he goes down on that woman and exclaims, "Breakfast, lunch, and motherfucking dinner right here!," it made my vagina feel things it had never felt before.

I never did end up digging though Farrell's back catalog of movies, though. Perhaps I was wary of the prospect of seeing a Colin Farrell movie that didn't feature his penis as a supporting character.

What a revelation Farrell was, then, in Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream. Released earlier this year, it's a film that even this Woody Allen fan and staunch apologist thought was boring—but Farrell's piercing performance was something you just could not take your eyes off of. His character bubbled with desperation, guilt, and pathos—his core of common human decency consumed in a tragedy of epic proportions. (A rich uncle recruits two brothers to commit murder, and one is up for the task [Ewan McGregor], while the other [Farrell] is plagued by doubt.)

Farrell impresses once again as a hitman with a conscience in the entertaining (and unapologetically crass) In Bruges, a film by playwright Martin McDonagh. Farrell knows how to deliver a line and let it go as if he didn't know how goddamn funny he is. No, the movie doesn't quite reach the level of profundity that you may desire out of a Martin McDonagh work, but profundity is way overrated. I'd rather laugh and be done with it:



Okay, any other good Colin Farrell movies that I should see? And when you name a movie, please include information on how naked Farrell gets in it (e.g., "takes his shirt off twice," "shows his butt crack," etc.). That will help me prioritize. (As for In Bruges, he wears his shirt unbuttoned in one scene, exposing his chest and stomach [*swoon*].... Now tell me how much you appreciate the things I write about for your edification.)
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7 Comments

  1. I saw Miami Vice what must've been last year some time, and it was oddly compelling yet still forgettable. I just remember the wierd combination of DIYish digital filming and crazy production value (jet boats, awesome cars, unbelievable mansions, etc.). Farrell did his tortured soul thing while Jamie Fox did his badass thing. It's worth a look, although I couldn't give you the nudity rundown. There might be a love scene in there somewhere.
    Also The New World is on my Netflix queue somewhere (that thing is so out of control). Terence Malick is a madman, and Q'orianka Kilcher who plays Pocahontas is way rad herself. Farrell plays Capt. Smith. Another potential love scene there.

     

  2. Anonymous Said,

    yeah but can he compete with

    https://emp.ucsd.edu/swf/screenclean.swf

     

  3. TBDA, thanks for the leads.

    Anon, thanks for that link. I put my penis right up to the screen.

    Everyone else, what about Phone Booth, Alexander, A Home at the End of the World?

     

  4. TBDA, I see you have several blogs--which is your main one?

     

  5. Madley Said,

    I swear, you have the most informative blog ever, and the pulse on the hottest guys around (okay, not quite on them YET)... never had a thing for Colin Farrell until IN BRUGES, which is a FANTASTIC film (I was just WAITING for you love it)!

    But I can't find the sex video :( Anyone got a link? hehehe

     

  6. okay let me try that again. Mainly I blog at AHAUM, but I also do alot of writing about writing at access the process
    Thanks for asking.

     

  7. Uth Video Said,

    Steve Blum. I hear his voice in so many video games and anime, it's not even funny. I hear that raspy voice and automatically know that it's him. I also heard his voice come out of Tank Dempsey in the Kino Der Toten Nazi Zombie level in Call of Duty Black Ops.

     













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