The Brits apparently do not want to be outdone by Americans who have sex with picnic tables. Yup, Scotland has raised the stakes in the Game of Crazy by fucking bicycles:

A man has been placed on the sex offenders' register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

[The man] was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year....

[Depute fiscal Gail Davidson] said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Look, folks, I've humped pillows as much as the next guy, but what is this worldwide interest in erotic encounters with inanimate objects? WHAT?! I Do Not Understand.

[Thanks to Nicole at For Future Reference for posting this.]


  1. When a man and a bike love each other very much... why shouldn't they be allowed to express their love physically?

    Besides, I once knew a girl in college her got her clit pierced and proceeded to spend all her time borrowing her roommate's bicycle so she could ride around town giving herself orgasms.

  2. OMG! Did you just say "clit" on my blog?!