Den of Tramps

The better part of the last three months I've spent with Brandon Patton. That's 25% of the goddamn year, which must count for something. Vouchers maybe? Gift certificates? Something.

So when I dropped him off at the airport at 5:00AM this morning, it really was sort of like a summer romance was ending. Aside from the glory of our Jukebox Stories shenanigans, Brandon is perhaps the only person in the world who not only willingly indulges me and my stories—Deal or No Deal, etc.—but also begs to watch upwards of four episodes of Celebrity Apprentice in a row with me at 2 in the morning. I mean, who does that?!

I guess it's only natural to absorb some of the characteristics of your friends, especially if you spend so much time together, but obsessing over Celebrity Apprentice? Brandon Patton is a little piece of heaven!

This must explain why I willingly let Brandon drag me to places like the Rainbow Bar and Grill on the Sunset Strip. He describes it as "a den of tramps," and he's right on the money about that. I mean, I've used the word "tramp" willy-nilly in the past, but, man, this place is full of real, full-fledged, genuine tramps. Trashy drunk rocker chicks, drug-addled trophy girls, make-up slathered ho bags—they're all at the Rainbow Bar and Grill, where everybody also happens to be a musician. I'm not kidding. You can walk up to about 99% of the clientele and ask, "Can I have your demo CD?" And a disc will be in your hand within two seconds flat.

Well, I'm now a bit sad that Brandon is gone. I am left to enjoy my stories alone, and I will likely never be back to the Rainbow, where the company of tramps yields good blog entries. We all lose.


  1. There was a great line in the play, "End of the World Party," starring Jim J. Bullock, something along the lines of "Maybe our closest friends are our REAL lovers, and our lovers are just other people."

  2. My truly excellent - if hair metal obsessed - former roommates used to love the Rainbow Room. I have a picture of me there wearing frumpy jeans and a t-shirt, surrounded by fishnet-bedecked women with hair sprayed to defy the elements and rather unartistic tattoos. I call that picture "Portrait of an Uncomfortable Beer Drinker."

  3. I passed the place three times and I KNEW I couldn't go in -- I'd turned in my tramp card many moons ago. (Well, kinda.)

    It was terrific night of stories and song and great to meet both you (finally!) and Brandon. So happy I went -- and was very inspired too, not mention having fun whooping it up at the mention of Zac Efron... sigh/flutter ;)

    And assuming you LOVED Celebrity Apprentice too... didn't the right guy win? Yeah.

  4. Dude -- you DO realize that me, Trixi and Diablo ALL favor the Rainbow and go there frequently, right?? Right??

    I LOVE that place. The mix of dessicated 80s hair metal failure plus the mystique of the Led Zep/70s Groupie scene is irresistable.

    A few months ago I sat right next to Lemmy from Motorhead. Worth the price of admission.

    Let's go. Anytime. I vote we move Friday drinking to there at least once.

  5. OMG, Jonny, as I said, den of TRAMPS! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!