A Hole Is a Hole

I can't make this shit up, folks. This story comes from WTOL in Toledo:

Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table....

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw [the man] walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

Now, I've always said, "A hole is a hole, and a mouth is a mouth." But I think I might just have to retract that.

[Thanks to Scott Heim for sending me this.]


  1. Got wood?
    Inadvertently, I kept reading 'Prince' every time the article mentioned 'Price.'

  2. ahh yes. sex with a table. good times. but then there's this guy who tried to do it with a bike.


  3. Seriously, Prince?


  4. I am pleased to say I had already heard this story so I didn't do a spit take onto my computer screen. Sex on a picnic table? Sure... With one..yeah no. Even if I had a penis. Or especially if I had one...

  5. This was on one of the morning talk shows in Boston recently. If ever a case of needing a high white vinyl privacy fence, this was it.