I can't make this shit up, folks. This story comes from WTOL in Toledo:
Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table....
The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw [the man] walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.
Now, I've always said, "A hole is a hole, and a mouth is a mouth." But I think I might just have to retract that.
[Thanks to Scott Heim for sending me this.]