Joanne was in Glendale last night, and Loren kept trying to drag her over to The Americana at Brand. She resisted because, in casual conversation, many people she knew kept describing The Americana in Biblical terms—you know, "the promised land" or "god's green earth" or (according to this blog) "paradise." But all those descriptions were expressed in a mocking fashion. And when something is mocked enough, it loses its cool factor.
As an appropriate countermeasure, Loren began equating criticisms of The Americana with acts of anti-patriotism. "If you don't go to The Americana," he warned her, "they win."
She ignored him.
"So, Joanne," Loren continued, " do you love The Americana...or do you love Al-Qaeda?!"
We didn't go to The Americana last night. Watch the skies, California. You have been warned.