Okay. So there's this guy named Gabriel Fleming, who makes movies and edits reality TV shows that you probably watch. This bitch just started a blog, and his entire first post is a thinly-veiled attack against me, against Pork Chop, against Bamboo Nation, and, basically, against America. He probably even spells it AmeriKKKa.
You really have to visit his blog regularly or subscribe to his feed because I'm going to be over there leaving the most fucked-up comments the blogosphere has ever seen. It is ON, people! It is ON!
(By the way, Humorless Tweens, Gabriel is one of my best friends. There are only a handful of people that I am close to, and he ranks near the top. Exactly where, I don't know yet. I'm working on an elaborate system to rank all my friends in order. This will help me sort out whom I can trust in times of need and who needs to treat me differently in order to move up in the rankings. I mean, don't you want to know where you stand with me? What if all this time you thought you were my #7 friend, but then found out that you're #32? Wouldn't that information be helpful to you in figuring out how to act in the world? Of course! You see, I'm trying to make you a better person. Thank me for it. And go over to Gabriel's blog to tell him how ON it is!)