Continuing to Risk My Life to Keep You Entertained

What should I wear to the Playboy Mansion?

—Wait a minute. I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. Perhaps I should explain:

I am going to a party at the Playboy Mansion this weekend (details later), and I need to know what kind of protective gear I should wear in order not to be harmed by stray, flapping boobies. Can you imagine what would happen if one of those things accidentally smacked me across the face? I could very well be hospitalized.

By the way, why the hell isn't there a Playgirl Mansion—with hunky men laid out on tables with sushi on their stomachs? I mean, sure, that kind of thing is a typical Saturday night at my house, but it really should be official.

[Addendum 06.20.08: I was informed by people who've been to the Playboy Mansion that the initial picture that I posted was not the Playboy Mansion. Well, excuse me for my classlessness. Anyway, I have now posted a new photo of the actual Playboy Mansion.]


  1. One would think they would have a bigger pool at that place.

  2. I am fairly certain that none of the boobies at the Playboy mansion will flap. They are prone boobies with little jiggling, bouncing, or flapping. Just in case, I will send you Paulina's bike helmet that has jellybeans all over it and says "nutcase" above the forehead. It's the brand name, but it makes a nice nametag for her too.

  3. they are the boobies that continue to point upwards, even when the bodies they are attached to are lying on their backs.

    these are boobies that mt rushmore would be proud of.

    these, my friend, are pretend all american boobies.

  4. I still think you should create the Playgirl Mansion. Unless there is a secret one somewhere... It seems like there must already be one.

  5. JT, and you would be right. I just posted a new pic of the actual Mansion. I made a mistake.

    LAP and QUIN, I like it when girls talk about boobies.

    AMY, I think by default it really is my apartment.

  6. Maybe you could be like Mizrahi and fondle away!