First Impressions of the Twin Cities

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Thursday, June 05, 2008
I touched down at the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport at the crack of dawn this morning, and Brandon picked me up.

BRANDON: So what do you want to do?

PRINCE: Is there a Chinatown?

BRANDON: No.

PRINCE: [Grumble, grumble.]

BRANDON: There's a large Vietnamese population.

PRINCE: [Grumble, grumble.]

BRANDON: And there are a lot of Hmongs.

PRINCE: [Grumble, grumble.]

Minutes later:

PRINCE: What's that body of water?

BRANDON: That's the Mississippi River.

PRINCE: WHAT?! THAT'S AMAZING! THAT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING MISSISSIPPI RIVER?! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and the Mississippi River beats the Chinese.
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7 Comments

  1. Anonymous Said,

    Fuck Minneapolis. When are you coming to Columbus, OH, so you can sit on my face (and so I and my fellow discerning Ohioans can enjoy "Jukebox Stories?") Granted, there's not a huge Asian population here, but you don't need that when you've got a Caucasian love cushion waiting for you.

     

  2. LAP Said,

    It was really great, and could have easily gone on twice, even three times as long. Paulina eventually stopped sulking she didn't win the Juno prize too. Thanks so much for coming!

     

  3. Anonymous, that comment would be scary if I weren't such a pervert. So thank you.

    Lap, yay! So great to see you and Paulina. Bizzare! I mean, you're online all this time, and then you're in person! It's like magic!

     

  4. LAP Said,

    Am I the first pretend internet friend you've ever met? That's impossible, because you're like famous!

     

  5. ooh I've been waiting my whole life to be able to correct you about something Asian. Or, not even Asian, just to correct you about ANYthing is a great feeling. I'm the guy who says the wrong name 50% of the time, like, you know, that comedian who died, Patton Oswalt? (Ahem... you mean Mitch Hedberg) Or, wasn't Dianne Sawyer married to Woody Allen once? (Um, you mean Diane Keaton?) SO anyway, here's my correction:
    The plural of Hmong is Hmong.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hmong_people

     

  6. LAP Said,

    I wrote about the show today at http://mommylap.diaryland.com. I tried to keep it all about you!

     

  7. LAP, I have met in person a handful of internet friends, but I always find it strange (and beautiful). (And great blog post! 'Cuz it's all about ME!)

    Brandon, get off my blog!

     



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