I Was So Scared I Almost Crapped My Pants; or An Alphabetical Journey of the Places I Went in (and Around) the Twin Cities, Part 3

Dear readers, I hope you appreciate the fact that I spent 10 bucks to buy the video of me riding The Fairly OddParents Fairly Odd Coaster at Nickelodeon Universe in the Mall of America in Minnesota. There are a few things you should know before you view the video. 1.) This crazy-ass coaster fucking spins while it zips along its orange track; 2.) I was so scared (I'm afraid of high, open spaces) that I almost crapped my pants; 3.) Brandon urged me to take my glasses off, for fear of them flying off my face, but the coaster was already moving before I could do so, so I tried to hold them in place the entire ride; and 4.) you can't really see it in the video, but there are actual tears streaming down my face through most of the ordeal. (Excuse the crappy Nickelodeon music. I would've added my own soundtrack, but I didn't want to cover up the sounds of my terror.) The things I go through to entertain myself, and, for the matter, to entertain you:


  1. Thank you, Prince. That was a great video. What a way to take one for the team. You're a great example for us all.

  2. That was fucking hilarious!!

    It was like you were undergoing some f-ed up illegal Gitmo torture with a cheesy 80's glam rock guitar track.

    You looked kind of like a grown up version of Shorty from "The Temple of Doom," but maybe one that was having his jewels cooked or something.

    Thanks again.

  3. Man, I just about puked when I rode that coaster -- of course my daughter, who was SEVEN at the time, was all like "why are you even scared, daddy? That was super tame."

  4. LMFAO, AGAIN!!!
    Your orgasmic screams made it sound as though it hurt so good.
    Masochist, much?

  5. did fred and sharon tape that?

  6. I don't really like the twirly rollercoasters, or the backwards rollercoasters. I like the upsidedown parts and honestly I don't have the equilibrium for any rollercoasters anymore.

  7. Prince, have you ever seen the Wrath of Khan?

    At the beginning of the movie Chekov and another guy get these worm things put into their ears, which then control their minds.

    They writhe and scream.

    You could have auditioned for the part, it looks like you're dying from a very painful migraine.

    BTW, that was hi-larious!

  8. I LAUGHED so hard I almost crapped my pants!

  9. I'm so glad you all can revel in my PAIN.