I Really Exist

Laundromat writer/director Edward Gunawan e-mailed me this morning to say, "I am very proud to announce that Laundromat is your first IMDb credit!" Who would've thought my IMDb cherry would've been popped with an acting credit? WHAT?! Living in L.A. is CRAZY!

The film, incidentally, will be part of a shorts program (yikes!) at Outfest on July 12, 2008, in L.A. I'll be there, in case you want to watch me cringe at my own performance. I mean, people have come up to tell me how great I am and everything, and they're genuine about it, but I don't know. I watch the other actors and they seem so natural and understated, and I have never been known for understatement in any aspect of my life. Well, it is what it is.

My first IMDb credit really should've been Mulholland Drive Support Group. That short made a big online splash some years ago, long before this thing called YouTube—raking in tons of views (relatively, for 2002), front-page promotion on IFILM (now Spike), rave reviews online, long discussion threads, and personal e-mails from people in like Argentina and France. It was NUTS, especially for that time. But IMDb never logged it.

For the 11 people who haven't seen it yet, here it is in its entirety (it's brilliant, but only really brilliant if you've seen David Lynch's Mulholland Drive):


  1. Hurray! And congratulations!
    I look forward to seeing "you play the perfect little faggot."
    (I can just hear Judy Tenuta's voice in my head saying, "Yeah, like THAT'S a stretch").

    Oh-oh-oh! KYOKO!

  2. MULHOLLAND DRIVE *SPOILER ALERT*: Okay, so Naomi Watts plays a debauched small-time actress who is consumed by guilt after putting a hit out on her lover, a big movie star who is having an affair with her male director. But on what turns out to be the final night of her life, Naomi's character has a dream. It is her subconscious mind trying to redeem her own self-image. She dreams that she is Betty, a wide-eyed goody-two-shoes who has just come to LA from Montana with hopes of becoming a movie star. In the dream, she befriends a busty amnesiac, and they spend the rest of the dream trying to uncover the amnesiac's identity. Betty embarks on a Nancy Drew-style mystery, but the mystery becomes byzantine and enigmatic because real-world Naomi cannot bear to face the truth, i.e., that the busty woman is her lover whom she has murdered. Reality encroaches on the dream ever more aggressively, with Naomi's subconscious working hard -- as hard as I'm going to work Prince G's cock someday -- to spin every real-life detail into an enigma and to maintain Naomi's image of herself as virtuous and innocent. However, the subconscious fails to shield Naomi from her tormented reality, and her dream gradually becomes a mirror of her real life. The only thing separating her from the truth is that her dream constantly refers her to a debauched actress named Diane Selwyn, who, not coincidentally has put a hit out on her own lover. Ultimately, Naomi's character wakes up and realizes the truth of her existence: she's not Betty, she's Diane Selwyn. Consumed by guilt and self-loathing, Naomi's real-world character commits suicide. What's so complicated about that?

  3. "...as hard as I'm going to work Prince G's cock someday..."

    ...Boy, we're way past the point of innocent innuendo on this blog, aren't we?

  4. Peter, I love how you can capture Judy Tenuta's voice via the written word!

  5. are you spending the evening deciding what picture of yourself to upload to imdb?