It's been 10 days, and I still have not seen The Dark Knight because some of my lame-ass friends get mad at me for seeing everything right when it comes out, leaving us nothing to do when we're together except stare into each other's eyes—I don't have a problem with that, but they do. So I promised to wait.

Now I don't watch Seinfeld, but it's only appropriate now to quote said sitcom:

GEORGE: What is this "saving movies" thing? Something's playing, you go.

JERRY: I know, I know.

GEORGE: So, what? We're gonna do nothing now, this is crazy.

JERRY: It is kind of silly.

GEORGE: Of course it is.

JERRY: I mean, it's just a movie, for god's sake.

GEORGE: Exactly.

JERRY: It's not like she's in the movie.

GEORGE: Right.

JERRY: Am I supposed to ruin the whole night because she wants to see it? I
mean, if I could have seen it with her, fine. But I can't control all these
circumstances and schedules and peoples' availabilities at movies.

GEORGE: And she'll still see it, you're not stopping her from seeing it.

JERRY: How does sitting next to a person in a movie theater increase the level
of enjoyment? You can't talk during a movie. You know, this is stupid, c'mon,
let's just go.


JERRY: Saving movies.

GEORGE: Ridiculous!

JERRY: Two for Prognosis Negative. I'm in trouble.

GEORGE: Oh, you're dead.

I'll have you know, my dear lame-ass friends, that I turned down going to see The Dark Knight with The Gays yesterday evening because of you—that is, I denied myself Batman and a guaranteed game of Reach Into the Popcorn Bucket for a Big Surprise. Also, my own mother, who doesn't ever ask to go see anything, begged me to take her to The Dark Knight—she's been wanting to see this since last year. I said no. TO MY OWN MOTHER.

So please, my dear lame-ass friends, get your fucking act together already and schedule this thing before I die from abject shame. ("You haven't seen The Dark Knight yet?! Shame on you!")


  1. i feel your pain.
    except my problem was all my friends had seen it already and no one wanted to go with me, so i resorted to the desperate move and went with my dad. it's good. i hope you see it soon.

  2. All in good time, Gomolvilas. All in good time.

  3. I am unfaithful. I used to cheat on friends who asked me to save movie viewings for/with them and go to midnight showings ASAP. After the first viewing, I would go over in my mind which scenes I needed to pretend to be suprised at, and scared and shocked, etc.
    Cheat on your mom, you disloyal, shameful son, you.

  4. Fleming, you are the biggest cock tease on the planet. (Believe me, I would know.)

    Peter, don't tell. I already feel deeply guilty.

  5. We must have the same lame ass friends. I am thinking of going alone. IMAX. Screw everyone!

  6. Jessie, I KNOW. Even after I posted that blog entry/plea, these bitches haven't scheduled anything. Fuck them!