Whenever I see television as thrilling as the Season Four premiere of Deal or No Deal, as I did tonight, I immediately go online so that I can chat with people about it. But after a half hour of sniffing around the Internet, I discovered that there aren't really any active, buzzing forums dedicated to discussing each and every episode of DOND. That's a fucking tragedy—for me, because I can't share a significant cultural experience with like-minded individuals; for you, because I'm forced to create an entire post dedicated to a single episode of Deal or No Deal, thereby chipping away at what little credibility I have left in the blogosphere.
Aside from guest appearances by the two hosts of The Biggest Loser and a surprise phone call from Aretha Franklin, tonight's episode featured an enthusiastic, big, proud, black woman as the contestant, a singer who had dreams of being on Broadway. She won over the audience by beautifully belting a song from A Chorus Line (with new DOND-inspired lyrics, of course), and she was presented with a tough proposition: if she turned down every single banker offer (which would run in the hundreds of thousands of dollars) and she went all the way to the very end (where she could end up with just a penny in her suitcase), she would be guaranteed a trip to New York, a private audition with the casting director of Hairspray, and a walk-on role during one performance of the musical.
After turning down offers as high as $286,000 to end the game (to which she declared, "No deal!"), she was left with just two suitcases. One of the cases held $5,000; one held $1,000,000. The banker offered her $530,000 to not go all the way. Did she take the deal?:
God, I fucking love and hate this show.