Guys Are Always Sticking Things in My Mouth, Er, I Mean, Sticking WORDS in My Mouth, Yeah, That's What I Meant

I say the darnedest things. That must be why people are compelled to create imaginary conversations between me and them. Some are based on real-life events, while some are complete horseshit.

My BFF, Mike Valentino, continues his series of conversations with me with this gem of a transcript. Now if Mike ever did give me his actual number, we would be able to have hot phone sex, and I could charge money for that transcript. I'll keep you posted.

And my web stats service tells me that, elsewhere in the blogosphere, one of my self-proclaimed "fanboys" encapsulates several short accidental encounters that he had with me Thursday night. I went to go see Lauren Yee's Ching Chong Chinaman at Impact Theatre in Berkeley with Tim Bauer and Marisela Orta, and was approached by a dude who has stalked me online before. Now here he was in person. His recall of that evening's events begins halfway down this page under the heading "Person goes to get water from the water cooler" and continues to the point in which I demanded he get into my car.

And look! Shia LaBeouf is eating a banana!


  1. okay, i dealt with the matter.

    oh, wow, shia is eating a banana..

  2. On tonight's news: Top Hollywood actor Shia Le "Beef" is pictured eating a banana. Merchants indicate a giant rise in banana sales, among other things.

  3. I am ashamed+horrified and I repent! eekdonotsmitemeplease!

  4. I'm creepy in a fun, comical way. That other guy's just plain creepy.

  5. I think Prince attracts creepy stalker types.

    I mean....I'm trying to start a Prince fanclub in Malaysia, raise money through it and then fly to the US and camp outside his place.......but no, not as creepy as the LJ guy though..............

  6. Perception is a fascinating thing. In real life, I was perhaps way creepier than this guy:

    "Hey, little boy, get in the car!"

    But once again I am absolved because folks love to reveal their innermost thoughts in blog form. Their loss, my (and your) amusement.

  7. I am both appalled and amused.
    And turned on.