Google Is Sometimes Annoying, Like a Bitch; Plus, Someone in This Apartment Is Unable to Comprehend How Blockbuster Works

As you may know, I allow Google to rule as much of my online life as possible (I use Google's Gmail, Blogger, Maps, News, Reader, Talk, Search, iGoogle, etc.), but I have decided to unceremoniously replace the Google Adsense advertising on my blog because I have spent an unreasonable amount of time blocking certain advertisers that just don't jive with Bamboo Nation. First, I had to get rid of lots of companies that sold bamboo—Adsense believed my blog was all about, I suppose, breaking news in the world of bamboo. Then, I had to get rid of ads from far-right conservatives, John McCain's campaign, the Yes-on-8 whackos, the Scientologists, and my former therapist. (I don't want you tracking him down!)

So I'm now a part of program that allows me to handpick advertisers, and I have decided to choose companies whose services or products I actually use and can wholeheartedly endorse, and I will be adding them to the ad rotation in the coming weeks.

My first pick is Blockbuster Total Access, a service similar to Netflix that allows you to rent and exchange DVDs by mail using handy prepaid envelopes. I used to have Netflix and I've tried GreenCine, but I defected to Blockbuster because of the extra perks:
1.) I'm impatient about the shipping delay that makes me wait for DVDs to go back and forth. With Total Access, instead of putting my DVDs in the mail after I've watched them, I take my envelopes to my local Blockbuster store, and I exchange the envelopes for free movie rentals right then and there (up to my monthly maximum, which is five on my plan)—and, additionally, the shipping facility will send me another movie by mail the next day (without waiting for the old envelope to get to them).

2.) If I don't want to exchange my envelopes for movies, I take them to the store anyway, where they will be checked-in and the shipping facility will send my new movie the next day (again, without waiting to receive the old envelope).

3.) Yes, if I'm lazy, I can always put the envelopes in the mailbox, just like Netflix.

4.) Most importantly, I can continue to stalk the hot employees at my local Blockbuster. Remember when I told you about them?
For some reason, Loren is unable to follow the logic of how this all works, what, with the shipping and the exchanges and the check-ins and what not, and he has not even once been to our Blockbuster Total Access queue online to choose movies he wants to see, and he yells at me when European indie films come in the mail. What's so hard to understand?

Anyway, there's a free trial period, and, if you use any of the Blockbuster links on this blog to get there, then it directly benefits Bamboo Nation, which directly benefits me, which directly benefits Pork Chop, which directly benefits you, which directly benefits the whole world.

So long, Google Adsense. I'm breaking up with you, and I'm not even telling you in person.

1 comment:

  1. wow. you go in the psych ward for a few days, come back, and there is no place to order bamboo anymore.