Why Is Robert Pattinson So Freaking Hot?

Posted by Prince Gomolvilas
ON Friday, November 21, 2008
When I saw the headline, "Squealing Fans Gather for Midnight Opening of 'Twilight,'" I knew I had to take notice because tween girls help shape my worldview and I haven't really been following the development of this whole Twilight phenomenon (a vampire-romance book series that spawned a movie, opening this weekend). But I'm glad I didn't jump on the bandwagon early because that news article reports the following about a midnight showing in the San Francisco Bay Area:
This was not a mixed crowd. The audience was 98 percent female and mostly younger than 30. High-school-age and younger girls took their seats along side young women in college.
98% female?! It was bad enough having girls scream in my ear at HSM3. Can you imagine what would happen if I went to Twilight this first weekend? I could very well choke to death on the scent of estrogen! (Does estrogen have a scent? Wait. What is estrogen?)

But I do wonder how I can be so clueless about Twilight, given the fact that the movie's star, Robert Pattinson, is so freaking hot! Where the fuck did he come from?! And why doesn't he love me?! Click to engorge, er, I mean, enlarge:



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7 Comments

  1. Stephanie Said,

    Dude, you're so helplessly behind, Prince. I'm gonna have to start feeding you the tween girl report.

     

  2. Okay; you're not going to like what I think about this guy, but I'll share anyway: I find him disturbing to look at. His eyes appear too far apart which, unfortunately for him, happens to be a trait of Down Syndrome. No, I'm not saying he has Down Syndrome, just one physical trait that creeps me out.

    Now why is the media not making a case for the other boy vampires in the film? They're the hot ones who don’t look like they ended up with an extra chromosome.

     

  3. Sterling Said,

    Prince, he's one of the ugliest in the cast. Go to IMDB and look up the cast listing and you'll see!

     

  4. My Gawd....you guys are vicious.

    Also he was Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter. The charater eventually died. That's all I know of it.

     

  5. Popcultini Said,

    I can't wait to see this movie, though I'm waiting until Thursday to avoid the helium-voiced masses.

    Yes, I am drinking the teen Kool-Aid and it tastes good.

     

  6. Quin Browne Said,

    say it!

    vampire


    jeans creamed everywhere



    boring film.... meh.

     

  7. Ewan Said,

    Sanpaku eyes!!
    Issues....

     



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