When Pandas Attack!

An adorable panda named Yangyang attacked a college student who hopped a fence at a zoo in China because the student could not resist Yangyang's adorableness. "Yangyang was so cute, and I just wanted to cuddle him," the victim said from his hospital bed after being bitten on the arms and legs.

I totally blame movies like Kung Fu Panda for attempting to humanize these dangerous creatures in a way that betrays their true and violent nature. I mean, they are not called panda kittens or panda puppies. They are panda motherfucking bears.

I mean, you did see The Edge, didn't you? That whole movie was built around the fact that bears are fucking scary! It's the film that features the now-infamous Sir Anthony Hopkins/Alec Baldwin "I'm gonna kill the bear!" scene that climaxes with Hopkins declaring, "I'm gonna kill the motherfucker!" Watch:

Ha ha ha ha ha!


  1. You know what's funny? The Mandarin translation for "panda" is literally "bear cat."

    Even though they seem to only attack humans when humans jump the fence, I STILL TOTALLY WANT TO CUDDLE ONE!

  2. Hahaha!!! That stupid kid deserve it. I mean for God's sake, these arent domesticated animals. They're wild animals. Of course they be wanting to take a bite off your ass.

  3. Anonymous12/03/2008

    I'll bet poor Yangyang was hungry again half an hour later! Yes; I went there. . .