The Life and Times of Pork Chop; or: Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 10

[Read "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 1," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 2," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 3," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 4," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 5," and "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 6," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 7," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 8," and "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 9."]

So Damned Cute
June 13, 2003

Loren and I have put double-sided tape around the perimeter of areas that we don’t want Pork Chop to enter, i.e., the shoe rack, the back of our entertainment system, etc. Sticking his paw and nose on the tape a few times, he has quickly learned to stay away. I can’t say the same about Loren, who has accidentally stepped on the tape more than a dozen times, requiring him to peel his feet from the adhesive.

Pork Chop was the star of the animal clinic yesterday, wowing the reception desk and other pet owners by being so damned cute. He was there for his first general examination with Dr. Rhee.

There was a woman there whose dog was hiding under chairs. She explained, “He doesn’t like coming here, because Dr. Rhee is Korean and his last owner was Korean.” I wanted to scream, “Your dog is racist!” But I wasn’t entirely sure if dogs could be.

I was surprised to find American Idol loser Clay Aiken’s single, “Bridge Over Troubled Water/This Is the Night,” at Borders Books because I didn’t know it was out. I mean, I would’ve gotten in line on the first day had I known! Clay has a great recording voice, and the first time I saw him do the Simon & Garfunkel song I got the chills. Loren rolled his eyes at my musical purchase, but he constantly steps on double-sided tape, so like he has a right to say anything.

Loren’s been annoyed lately that I pile my papers and things on the side of his desk, but I annoy him back by whispering, “Sharing is caring,” into his ear.

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