The Life and Times of Pork Chop: Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 5

[Read "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 1," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 2," "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 3," and "Pork Chop's Origin Story, Part 4."]

Climbing Like a Monkey
May 23, 2003


Yesterday I stormed the SPCA and demanded to visit my soon-to-be-adopted kitten, Pork Chop. I had to storm because the office was very busy having a code-red computer crisis and tech people were climbing all over the place like monkeys. Then Pork Chop began climbing all over the tech people. Except he wasn’t climbing like a monkey; he was climbing like a kitten.

He’s so very sweet, and I have no doubt at all that this is the perfect cat for Loren and me, so perfect that the $199 carpeted cat tree at Petco doesn’t seem so outrageous after all. I mean, c’mon, folks, the cat tree has got several levels, swinging toys, secret tunnels, plush ramps, hiding places, trap doors, statues, fountains, a garden, a patio area, and a petting zoo. Pork Chop is worth every damn cent. Damn it.

Plus, I am in possession of Loren's Discover card. And Loren is in Florida. And he doesn't need to know. And I have no scruples. And I don't even know what "scruples" means. And all I know is that I'm going to spend this weekend "Discovering" how fun life can be.

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