Mr. Know-It-All Argue Pants; Plus, Where in the World Is Mike Valentino?

Gabriel and I have a very special friendship. I exert an incredibly generous amount of effort to lavish love and attention upon him—while he carefully watches my every move, waiting for me to make even the most minor mistake, so that he can point out how wrong I am. Anyway, let's take some quick corrective measures, shall we?

I was so fascinated by the shovy-shovy train video in my post, "Public Transit in China Sucks Balls," that I failed to notice that the clip did not take place in China, but, rather, in Japan. Gabriel pointed that out in the comments section, as did The 26th and an anonymous commenter. I'm sorry, but all look same, all look same!

Gabriel then tuned yesterday's fun and light post, "I Don't Know You English With Your Complicated Names," into a treatise about transliteration. You mean, I can't go around simply declaring racism? Fine. Whatever.

Despite all this, aren't I a good friend for never pointing out when Gabriel is wrong?

GABRIEL: That's because I'm never wrong!

PRINCE: The title of your new film project sucks.

...Speaking of commenters, what the hell happened to Mike Valentino? His blog has disappeared, and he's not responding to my e-mails. Whatever happened to our special love? MIKE VALENTINO, WHERE ARE YOU?!