The Truth and Consequences of Cabin Fever

What happens when you get laid off, start "working from home," and end up suffering from severe cabin fever? Well, if you're Will, you take a brisk stroll to the cafe that's right around the corner from your apartment so that you can sing an a capella version of "Sixteen Tons" at an open mike night.

Um...what the fuck?!

Most people just masturbate all day, but Will decided to do something out of character, bizarre, and potentially disastrous.

I so had to be there.

While waiting for Will's big moment, Jake and I suffered through two hours of painful vagina music and witnessed two girls mercilessly butchering a Wilco song like a barbecued duck in Chinatown. By the way, the term "vagina music" is not misogynistic because men sing vagina music too and they were out in full force last night, belting almost-in-key tunes about girls they never laid. Can you just picture my ears bleeding?

Will must have endeared himself to me in some big way in the past because was it not on this very blog that I have stated—twice!—that "all open mikes are shitty"? Why would I go? WHY?!

I count two saving graces from last night's open mike.

First, Will's charmingly out-of-place performance was sweet relief from the whiny line-up. Let's all agree to get him out of the house more, so that he no longer has to resort to drastic measures. And the next time you see him, ask him to sing you "Sixteen Tons" so that he can satisfy his apparent public performance needs.

Second, I should be fair and mention that there were a couple of decent singer-songwriters, and one that was clearly out of his element in that he was fucking awesome!

Jamie Chura has a great voice, terrific stage presence, and unassuming self-confidence that totally eclipsed all the other performers in the room. And his songs are pretty damn good too.

The only reason I could think of to explain why he of all people was peddling his musical wares at an open mike is because he probably got laid off, started "working from home," and ended suffering from severe cabin fever too.

My advice? The go-to "masturbate all day" is my first choice; barring that, write more songs.

Visit Jamie Chura's MySpace page.

Watch and listen to how fantastic he is!:

1 comment: