I've got a dozen blog topics or so that I haven't gotten around to writing about yet, but let me kill three birds with one stone by grouping three separate items under the Hot Pieces of Ass banner.
• After getting busted for sucking on a bong and receiving a three-month suspension from the only thing he loves more than women who embrace opposite marriage (swimming), Michael Phelps is back in action this month. No, I'm not talking about his swim meet in North Carolina. I'm talking about more half-naked photos!
• You would think that being a gay porn star would afford you lots of respect. (Well, from me, at least.) But if you're "Vincent DeSalvo" (actually, 22-year-old John Gechter), you're going to get kicked out of Grove City College, a Christian school, because they don't like it when you put your mouth on certain things and insert certain other things into your rear. In other words, they don't like it when you have gay sex on camera for money. Want the whole story? Read "Amateur Porn Star's Threeway Gets Him Suspended From Christian College" (NSFW). Want totally not-safe-for-work stills and a video preview of him in action? Here you go. Want to take a look at his arty maybe-safe-for-work modeling photos? Here. Want to read a great sympathetic interview with him, where he explains how students responded at school ("Kids were throwing food at me in the cafeteria. I got 150 hate e-mails.")? Here. Oh, Vincent, you're too hot for that Christian college anyway.
• Okay. Those boys are naughty! So leave it up to the Asians to live up to the model minority stereotype by being hot with no naughty strings attached. Asia Pacific Arts recently published "APA Top Ten: Hot Asian Actors Hollywood Doesn't Yet Realize It Needs." Glaring omission though: ME! But they make up for it by linking to a video of Daniel Henney eating ice cream while a cover version of Hanson's "Mmm Bop" plays in the background. Uh, yeah, seriously. Watch: