What Is This, a Freaking Sausage Fest in Here?!

Since I've been hanging out with straight guys lately, I've been unconsciously adopting their lingo and mannerisms, and I must say that I'm currently doing a stellar job at keeping heterosexual male obnoxiousness alive and well in the 21st century—much better than my attempt at ending every sentence with "brah" last year, a personal inside joke that was pretty much lost on everyone aside from myself.

Lately, whenever I walk into a party or a bar that is comprised of more desperately single men than desperately single women, I exclaim with indignation, "What is this, a freaking sausage fest in here?!" That comment gets me high-fives because I am vocalizing collective thoughts, giving voice to the pent-up frustrations of an entire group of people. Hey, it's what I do.

On Saturday, Loren took me to a restaurant called Wurstküche in downtown Los Angeles.

PRINCE: What is this, a freaking sausage fest in here?!

LOREN: Uh...almost literally...


You see, my attempt at humor fizzled because Wurstküche is an actual sausage grill that serves a number of exotic sausage sandwiches (hot dogs to those of you who are unsophisticated). Sure, you can get your run-of-the-mill bratwurst, kielbasa, or hot link, but, if you're adventurous, there's rattlesnake and alligator too. For me, there are three vegetarian options, and, if you know me, you know how much I love fake meats. After a while, you can't tell the difference, especially if you drown your food in mayo, salt, ketchup, and goop like I do:

Though there's usually a line that goes out the door during peak hours, Loren loves this place and says you should opt for the rattlesnake over the alligator, if you are indeed a risk taker. I chose the vegetarian Italian sausage on my first visit, and it's yummy.

The Belgian fries are insanely good, especially with the white truffle oil glazed over them, which makes the outside layer particularly crispy. There are about a dozen dipping sauces available for your fries, my favorite being the sun-dried tomato mayo. (The chipotle ketchup is pretty damn good too; I say pass on the curry ketchup.)

And for all you lushes, there are a couple dozen imported beers on tap. For sweet innocent boys like me, there are gourmet sodas—hello, strawberry soda, I love you!

Check out the Wurstküche website and menu.


  1. OH Prince. Delighted you remembered and posted the, Don't Drown Your Food Song.

    Still sing it to this very day.


  2. so, you dumped mike as your straight man (as it were)?

    i love sausages. even the walking kind.

  3. Mmm... greasy, unhealthy vegetarian food... Makes me purr like an evil kitten.

  4. Anonymous6/15/2009

    Prince, its amazing you could taste anything underneath all the catchup.